unexpected friends

So far I haven’t made any Ugandan friends on my own. Yesterday I went out walking to explore the area closer to my house. Out near some farming area, I began matching paces with a woman in her 30s who spoke very understandable English. She owned several pigs and was just walking back to her home after caring for them. Faith is Kenyan and invited me to her house. Cool, I thought, never been into someone’s house around here. She led me thru some confusing streets back to the main road, at one point crossing a crude log bridge over a ditch. She found it amusing that I made it across with little difficulty just like her. I met her goats outside her gate and her chickens inside her gate. All the while she chatted about her daughter and what she studied at the university in Nairobi.

I met her brother peter who I later found out isn’t an actual brother but a close friend who came over to help her husband with work. Inside the main room of her house, they had 2 couches pointed at the small tv, a sparkly fridge, 2 low tables, a stove that didn’t work, a bed, and a 3ft propane canister with a little stove on top. It looked crowded before adding the people. Faith offered me something to drink and I remembered in time that only boiled water is safe to drink so I asked for tea. Then she said, not asked, that she would make something for me. When she placed the large amount of scrambled eggs in front of me, I asked if it was all for me. Yes, she has lots of eggs, she said proudly pointing to her chickens. Ah, ok. I haven’t had eggs that weren’t boiled since I came here, so I didn’t complain but ate all of it. You are not in any hurry, yes? You stay and talk with us. I assured her I wasn’t in any hurry. It slowly dawned on me that her questions about what I ate had the purpose of building the menu for dinner. I had met her at 2pm. By assuring her I wasn’t in a hurry I had unwittingly said I didn’t have to be anywhere for the rest of the day. It was the conversation about meat which tipped me off about my altered schedule.
“You eat meat, yes?”
“yes, but not here in Uganda. There is bacteria in the meat here that your stomachs are used to, but mine isn’t. so I will get sick if I eat it.”
“oh, it must be the spices, we will make it very mild.”
“uh…, no, not the spices. Bacteria. Tiny things in the meat.”
“ah, we make it with no spices.”
“I still cannot eat it. I must make sure I am safe, that I don’t get sick.”
“ok, you play it safe. Do you eat peas?”
Apparently higher science has not reached the universities. Unfortunately, I had already answered that I drank and sometimes smoked. So when Faith explained the grocery list for the evening meal to peter, I tried in vain to take the beer and cigarettes off the list. I did manage to change the beer from undrinkable Guinness stout to a more drinkable Bells. Don’t get me wrong, I love Guinness, but Guinness stout here tastes nothing like a Guinness. Blegh.

While peter left, Faith pried me for information on how great America was and if I would invite her to America. Thankfully I made no promises because again I slowly realized she had a different goal in the questions than I had. I meant a visit to the states to show her hospitality like she was showing me. She was thinking of me becoming her sponsor for immigrating. So I made sure the rest of the evening when we talked about America I added how difficult America was, and how different, and how not perfect. I tried to tell her how expensive it was. Not sure I got anywhere. We settled on if she was there, I would invite her to spend time with me, and help her look for a job. The golden dream of “America the land of plenty” still exists in Africa.

But we also talked a lot about Uganda and Kenya and the differences. They said the Ugandans are lazy while Kenyans work, and that high up jobs in Uganda usually have Kenyans in them. That’s when we started talking about her husband and I found out that she doesn’t want to bring her husband along with her and her daughter. Red flag.

Peter came back and unloaded 3 beers, 2 cigs, some other food and at the bottom of the bag sat the beef, totally naked. Gross. Thank God I didn’t have to eat it. I did have to not insult my hosts by refusing to eat what they gave me. Dinner was a heap of rice accompanied by a large bowl of peas and carrots. How am I supposed to eat all that? And drink the beer? And smoke the cigs? All without throwing up? Groan. Halfway thru the food I was full. I started mentioning that I didn’t know if I could eat anymore cuz I was so full. but she kept encouraging me to eat, saying she wanted to make sure I was satisfied. Aha. I figured out how to say what I needed. Tell her im satisfied already and assure her of that. So finally I was done with eating. And then she put another beer in front of me. So when i smoked, I poured out some of the beer.

Now, anyone who knows me knows I have a fairly small bladder. After a while I asked where the restroom was. Blank faces. Ok, where is the toilet? Out back, but she forgot to get more tissue, did I have any? Another inward groan. So their toilet is a hole in the middle of the cement floor in the outhouse. This was a totally new experience for me which was presently one-upped by the second time when something dark darted towards my foot. No, I didn’t screech. I shined the light around the edges and found not one, but several cockroaches. At least I think they were cockroaches. Fascination warred with disgust. Disgust won. Im never leaving the house again without TP and hand-sanitizer.

All in all, I have made some very interesting friends. We got to teach each other about our different cultures and try to dispel the other’s misconceptions. I never thought I could teach on that range of topics to someone who constantly amazed me with what they didn’t know. Native American Indians are not india Indians. That one took a while. So did explaining that people with light-colored eyes could see just as well as those with “black” eyes. After dark they called their boda friend to drive me the half kilometer to the house. But I enjoyed having common people to talk differences with, even if they aren’t actual Ugandans. They also allowed me to take the last beer home since it took me so long to finish the other two. I gave it to Bryce when I got back. I have never gotten such a look of surprised gratitude when I offered it to him. You would think im an angel or something.